Loss

Sometimes I am overwhelmed with the sadness of loss. It's like I have been punched in the gut and all the stored tears swell up and flow out. I try to be all right but the truth is that somebody really special in my life died, and there is a grief process that must be observed. It must be observed or some day later down the road I will visit this loss again and have to go through it at that point. Now or later...those are the options. I choose now - even though it's painful, even though I'd rather just not go through the process at all. I choose now so that later I will be all right.

Expectation

You never know what the day ahead of you will hold. You can guess. You can hope. You can dread. But the truth of the matter is that until you live it, you really just don't know.

Again

Do you remember when life used to make sense? When there was a pattern to follow? And things seemed to make sense? Do you remember when ignorance was bliss and there was no reason to dig deep within to pull up what is hidden? Do you remember when roses were beautiful and the sky was brilliant? And when you were swept away in song at the amazing wonder of the day? Do you remember when innocence was a thing of beauty not to be scorned? And when childhood was a gift not a burden? Do you remember the feeling of your father's kiss behind your ear? And the feeling of security at a glance from your mom? Do you remember when life was not heavy and hard, full of sweat and sorrow? Will it again be that way? Will it again hold the joy it once did? Will it again sparkle and shine? Will it ever again be fresh and new?

exposed

dear God. here I am...

will you love me anyway?